


Ring, Ring, you ain't nothing but a thing.

by nimrod262



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: AWOL, Angry Colonels, BSAA, Brown Trout, Deuce of Hearts, Fairy Godmothers, Finnenson, Fluff and Humor, Jack of Diamonds - Freeform, M/M, Nivanfield, Nivanfluff, Rings, Suspicious Sisters, The Lodge at Glendorn, Zippo Lighters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 11:30:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17079518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimrod262/pseuds/nimrod262
Summary: Chris and Piers decide to go away, leaving Danny and Finn to look after Ruff...and answer the phone.  Chris 'forgets' on purpose and so three ladies get the wrong end of the stick....or do they?





	Ring, Ring, you ain't nothing but a thing.

All was quiet in the _Deuce of Hearts_. Still and silent in the somber shade of the autumn afternoon. Then the house phone rang, the noise jarring against that same stillness and silence.

_Brrr...Brrr, Brrr...Brrr..._

It switched to message.

 _Ker..lick_. "Hi! This is Piers.... **and me, er, Chris, ha!** Sorry, _we_ are not in to answer your call right now. Please leave your message after the beep..... **I wanted to say beep.**...Say it then.... **BEEP!** " _Beep_.

"Piers? Big Bro? Where are you two? Never mind, I'll ring your cells."

There were two cell phones lying on the hall stand....

The first phone, the one in a battered camo case didn't ring at all. It was switched off.

"Damn!"

The second phone, the one in the shiny black and gray carbon fiber case rang, and immediately went to voicemail.

"Piers? It's me, Claire. Will one of you please pick up? Oh...are you....well, if you are, pick up when you've finished doing....."

Later the phone rang again.

..... _Beep_.

"Hello? Piers? It's Mom. You haven't called in a while. Is everything alright Dear? How's that man of yours? Give him a hug from me and give me a call Piers. It's just nice to hear your voice sometimes....when I'm lonely....I don't want you to worry....Everything's Ok...sigh...I love you. Byeee."

..... _Beep_.

"Christopher, are you still not answering? You do remember me?....Claire, _your_ sister...

..... _Beep_.

"Um, hello Captains. It's Finn. How long did you say we were looking after Ruff? Dan said it was only till the weekend, but I thought you said till Monday. He's fine anyway...Ruff I mean, but Dan's Ok too.....Oh, why am I ringing your home? You're not in. Tee, heh! I'll ring your cells."

 _.....Beep_.

"Hi boys, it's Jill. Don't worry, nothing's happening. Mike and I thought it would be nice to meet up next time you're in town. Before we get bogged down with nappies and sleepless nights, you know. Give us a call."

"Bearfield! It's six o'clock. You can't still be....where are you? Just answer me....Arghh!"

"Piers? It's Mom again. Claire just called me. She wants to know where you are. She says Christopher's not answering his phone. I told her you weren't either. I do hope both of you are alright. Should I ring the BSAA? Just let me know you're Ok son, and tell Christopher he's in big trouble, I don't think Claire's very happy. Bye bye Dear."

"Er, Hi, Piers, it’s Danny. Leaving you a message. We just had Colonel Val.....er....Mrs Lugano call. She's had your Ma on the phone. We said you'd gone away, but we didn't know where. She want's us to check out the _Deuce of Hearts_...hope you don't mind....I'm just gonna' take Ruff out, I'll call in on my way past."

...... _Beep_. "Chris, Piers? I've just had someone check your furlough forms. You can't say 'Touring.' You have to leave a contact address, I shouldn't have to tell you that, least of all you Piers. Do you want me to instigate a call-out? I will, trust me! One of you pick-up. That's not a request by the way!"

Danny found the two cell phones just inside the door. One was ringing. He answered it.

"Piers, what the hell are you playing at....?"

"Er, hello, this is Corporal Svenson. Who is this please?"

"Corporal who? Is that Piers' phone?"

"Yes Ma'am, and you are?"

"Claire, as in Claire Redfield, that big oaf's sister! What are you doing on this number? And where are they? Is there an operation on? Well, speak Corporal whoever you are!"

"Svenson Ma'am, Finn Macauley's husband. We live in the _Jack of Diamonds_...."

"Oh, the boys in the boathouse? We'll why didn't you say so? What are you doing there?"

"Um, looking after Ruffy. The Captains have gone away, and left their cells behind..."

"What? How stupid is that? Oh, wait, this is my brother we're talking about. Where are they then?"

"I don't know Ma'am, they didn't say. It was all a bit rushed."

"What was? What was rushed? Piers doesn't rush anything; it's always planned. Oh my God! They're not getting...."

"Getting what?"

"Hitched, spliced, tying the knot."

"Excuse me?"

"Married, jeez, do I have to spell it out?"

"Um, I don't think so. Finny would have known....he's got second sight....besides I'm sure they would have invited us. Er, and you of course. They came to our wedding."

"That's just it! It would be typical of them to say nothing. They both hate making a fuss. You, Corporal whoever, stay there. I'm gonna' ring Piers mother after I've given them a piece of my mind. Don't you dare move! Do you understand me?"

"Yes Ma'am."

..... _Beep_.

"Bearfield, have you just got married? Without telling me....your only sister? You are so deep in it this time Big Bro. Of all the stunts you've pulled. I bet this was your idea, one of those stupid plans of yours. Piers is way too sensible. Piers, are you listening? Don't talk to me, I'm too angry....Rawrr!"

..... _Beep_.

"Piers, son. I've just had young Claire on the phone again. She says you and Christopher have got married. Is this true? You ring your mother straightaway! I'm too upset to talk anymore, what is the world coming to?"

****************************

Piers idly slid the ring up and down his finger. Chris put a consoling hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so, so sorry Ace. I should have checked before I left, but I wanted it to be a surprise. It was all a bit rushed. I guess it's just worn with age."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up Babe. It was a beautiful idea. One of your best." he gave Chris a dazzling smile, his man looked like he needed cheering up.

"Really? You mean it?"

"Of course I do. I love it when we do things together." Piers put the shiny metal band on the table. "Is it very old?"

"Well it was certainly my Pa's. And going by the design, I think it may have been Gramp's before that."

"I love it's simplicity, it's honesty Babe. Does exactly what it says on the tin. No edgy styling or tacky engraving. It's very....." Piers sought the right word. ".....it's very Redfield."

"Aww, thanks Ace. I wanted it to stay in the family."

"Well now it will. Did you know him? Your Grandpa?"

Chris sighed. "Only vaguely. He died when I was about five. I remember sitting on his knee when we used to visit. I remember how much his whiskers hurt when he kissed me. Most of all I remember he'd usually give me a quarter. He'd slip it into my hand when he thought Grandma wasn't looking; came out of the housekeeping I suppose. And then he'd whisper 'Here, buy yourself some sweets young'un.'

"Heh, heh! And did you?"

"Sometimes, but sometimes I'd save it up and buy a toy, usually an airplane."

"And the future pilot was born."

"Ha!" Chris looked at his watch, then picked up the ring. "Come on, let's find that 24 hr jewelers they told us about."

"You sure?"

"Yes. We've come this far. I'm not gonna' turn around now. I want to see it in use."

****************************

Chris was driving. "You remember the directions Ace?"

"Yeh, no probs. Anyway, I can always find it on my cell. Have you seen it?"

"Uh, not lately."

"I left them out for you to put in the glove compartment. I hope you didn't forget." Piers opened it. "Well, they're not in here!"

"They're probably in one of our grips. We were in such a hurry, I haven't unpacked properly yet." Chris ran a hand nervously over the back of his neck.

"Hmm, probably. Oh, turn right here, 2nd and Elm, then third left...."

In the shop, Chris and Piers looked on anxiously. "How long will it take?"

The jeweler sucked on his teeth. "Oohh, lemme see. I've already got another job on the go....Hmm, 'bout an hour boys. I'll give you a call when it's ready; what's your number?"

"Here, let me write it down." said Piers. "Hopefully I'll have found my phone by then."

"Er, or we could just call back Ace, in an hour. Um, just time for a burger, you haven't eaten since lunch. You _must_ be hungry."

"Ok, you've convinced me. A burger back at the hotel grill, and then we can both look for our phones."

"Yeah, ha!"

****************************

Danny was still sat in the _Deuce of Hearts_ , absentmindedly scratching Ruff's ears when Piers cell rang. It made him jump. Was it the Captain's angry sister again?

"Er, hello?"

"Mr Nivans? Roberts' the jewelers here. Just to let you know your ring's finished. I tested the size, should be a perfect fit now. See you soon then, goodbye."

"Wait! Hello, hello? Damn, he's gone! What ring? Oh darn! _The_ ring, of course! What am I gonna' do? Finny, help! Where are you when I need you?"

****************************

"Looks great doesn't it?"

"Just like new."

"Slip it on then.....that's it. Is it a good fit?"

"Perfect Babe. One ring to bind them."

"Ha, ha! What are you like Piers. You and your Hobbits!"

"It was Elves actually."

"Yeh, with their little beards...."

"That's the Dwarves!"

"Whoever! Well, we're all set now. Big day tomorrow!"

"Yeh, looking forward to it. Just the two of us."

"Perfect!"

"Oh, by the way. Mr Roberts said he rang me."

"Er, did he?"

"Yeh, and someone answered, on my cell."

"Um, weird!"

"How could that be?"

"Search me. Ha! Perhaps you left it in that office yesterday. You know, where we had to register and get the license."

"I don't recall doing that."

"Well there was a lot to take in. All those rules and regulations."

"Hmm, perhaps. We can call in there again tomorrow."

"Big day tomorrow Ace." Chris smiled nervously.

"Yeah, so you said....."

****************************

..... _Beep_.

"Dan? Are you still there? You've been gone a long time, pick up......"

"Finny, Finny! Yes I'm still here. Captain Chris' sister ordered me not to leave."

"......Oh you mean Miss Claire. She's a fiery Colleen. You don't want to upset her, she can make a grown man cry."

"How'd you know?"

"She hit Cap'in once."

"Must have been a lucky blow."

"Well, it was certainly a low one. I don't think Cap'in thought it was lucky."

"Ouch!"

"What are you doing there?"

"She told me to stay. I think she wants me by the phone. And she said the Captains were married. And Finny, it's true, they _are_ married. Piers had to get his ring altered. The jewelers rang him."

"What! Well never mind that for now, I want you home."

"But...?"

"You can bring their phones with you. They can ring just as well in our place."

"Captain Chris' is switched off."

"That's probably a good thing right now. Only half the trouble."

"Trouble! The Captain's sister sounded like she was gonna' land a few more punches any minute. And she was gonna' tell Piers' Ma, and she did, 'cos she left a message. I hope _she_ doesn't make grown men cry too. It wouldn't be a good thing to happen on your wedding night would it?"

"Dan! Get a grip!"

****************************

"Tell me exactly what he said Corporal. Exactly!"

"He said it's the jewelers, your ring is ready to collect. That he'd checked the size and it should be a good fit, and he'd see him soon."

"Nothing else?"

"No Ma'am."

"You sure?"

"Oh, he said a name, um Roberts’ jewelers."

"That's better. Area code?"

"What?"

"Didn't you think to look at the number calling?"

"No Ma'am, I wasn't suspicious at the time."

"Meaning I am? Have you seen a grown man cry Corporal?"

"Ulp..." Danny's Adam's apple bobbed nervously. ".....Er, my husband, when I came out of an induced coma?"

"I meant in a _bad_ way!"

"It was, er, let me see.....area code 814, then 362 7980 About 7pm."

"Thank you. You've been very co-operative. Did you know your husband caught my wedding bouquet?"

"Er, Finny did mention it.....um, thank you?"

"Who caught yours?"

"Um.....oh dear, this is awkward.....Captain Chris....." Danny mumbled.

"Who? I can't hear you. Speak up!"

"Captain Chris, your brother. He caught it"

"Arghh!"

****************************

The three-way conference call was initiated.

"They're in Bradford PA apparently." said Claire.

"Where's that Dear?" Martha enquired. "I've never heard of it."

"Somewhere near the Allegheny National Forest. Its about a hundred and eighty miles away from Williamsport...." replied Claire. "....famous for hiking, fishing, hunting...."

"That sounds like Chris' idea of a honeymoon...." chuckled Jill, ".....The jewelers is a 24 hour one. I just rang them up."

"Didn't you ask about them, Chris and Piers?"

"Er, no, I didn't want to seem _too_ suspicious, I just made a general enquiry."

"For the last time, I am NOT suspicious!"

"There, there, Claire, calm down. We girls need to keep level heads. As usual, it's our men folk running around like five year olds."

"So what _are_ we going to do about it?"

"Well, if my eldest son _is_ getting married, I want to be there. I would like to have been asked properly of course."

"Me too."

"You got married in Vegas Claire, just you and Richard, remember?"

"That was different Jill! Chris would never have let me get married if it had been up to him."

"And?"

"I don't mind him getting married to Piers, they should have done it ages ago. I just want to be there, they're my family! And afterwards I'm gonna' give him such a.... "

"Claire! Standards, please. So, Jill, how do we find them? They could be anywhere."

"If they're in a forest, they'll be under canvas, or in some wood cabin, if I now Chris."

"Oh no Dear, Piers wouldn't do that. When he goes away he likes his luxuries. He said he had enough rough living in the Army. It'll be somewhere swanky, all creature comforts, and with a really good restaurant."

"Good Intel Martha, Bearfield would certainly like that last part. Ladies, I have a plan. We'll locate all the high-class hotels in the area and check their guest registers."

"Can we do that?"

"No, but I know an organization that can."

"Is that even legal?"

"Technically their furlough is invalid, so in effect they are AWOL. The BSAA can call on any resources it sees fit to apprehend them."

"Wouldn't some high-up have to make that decision Dear?"

"They just did."

****************************

The phone rang in the McKean County Sheriff's office. "Hi Bob....You got somethin' on that AWOL APB?.......Uh-huh....Where?..... _The Lodge at Glendorn_? Jeez, they must be paying these guys more than I get......Ok, good result......No, no action, mosey back to the office. Some lady Colonel in the Army wants to run with it. I'll let her know......Ha! Yeah, have to sew 'em back on first!....Poor grunts."

****************************

"You planned all of this didn't you?"

"Er, some of it. You chose the hotel, I just suggested a location."

"Yeh, Bradford PA, home of the Zippo lighter. You can't tell me that wasn't planned. I've heard so many stories about you and lighters...."

"All lies! Well, ahem, most of them. It was just a happy coincidence Ace." Chris grinned.

"Did you plan on giving me a romantic tour of the factory? Flip your thumb over a few knurled knobs?"

"No, they got buttons now Ace! Not ones you press, just, you know, touch....apparently...electronic ones ...allegedly....so I heard...somewhere....in passing."

"Pftt, coincidence my ass Bearfield!"

Chris was suddenly keen to change the subject, and what better than the matter in hand, literally.

"Talking of which, how's your ring holding up?"

"Seems fine, still nice'n tight."

"Ha! Er, I'm a bit worried about your grip though. Hold the shaft with both hands, that's it, closer together. Good. Keep your thumbs aligned. I find it most comfortable with the top of one thumb touching the base of the other. Yeh, that's it, you're a quick learner."

"Gotta' good teacher. Oh Chris, this is perfect. We could be in the middle of nowhere, just you and me."

"It's all we need....and a bite perhaps!"

"We agreed, no hickeys! We're not teenagers any more."

"You know what I mean." Chris' arms slid under Piers'. Piers could feel the heat from his partner's body, smell his cologne. And Chris felt Piers melting into his embrace.

"That's it, don't tense up, relax, one fluid motion. If you tense up you'll put a kink in it..."

"And we don't want that." Piers smirked.

"No.....there you go...and now forward....don't pause.....and....release. There, perfect."

"Ohh, that felt good....Hang on! Ahh, I can feel something. There, again! Chris, Chris, I......!"

****************************

When you've raised four children you tend not to be impressed by logistics. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. But Martha Nivans had to admit, Jill Valentine was impressive. Flights, pick-ups, everything smooth and organized, and on time. She was going to make a great mother. And then the _pièce de résistance_ , a helicopter ride from Williamsport right to the hotel.

The staff were used to seeing the occasional helicopter land at _Glendorn_. Jet Rangers, Écureuils, a Corporate 212 now and then. But camouflaged Black Hawks were rare to the point of non-existence. And ones that subsequently disgorged three women who were dressed to kill....or attend a wedding....or possibly both, well, that _was_ unusual!

Jill Valentine spoke briefly to the pilot. "Remember _Slaybell_ , this was a NAVEX. Pure and simple."

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am."

"If anyone talks Captain, I'll find out, and then it won't be pretty."

"Our lips are sealed Colonel."

"Good, keep it that way. I'll give you a call when we're all done here."

"Er, should I rig for CASEVAC, for the return?"

"Hah, hah, very funny Captain Slay. Now beat it!"

They were met by the Bellhops and the Greeters and then gently ushered to the presence of the Reception Manager. He looked up from his desk, revealing perfect teeth behind the perfect smile.

"Young Ladies, flown in from paradise. Welcome, welcome, to _Glendorn_." he gushed.

"Cut the flannel young man. I haven't been young for, oh, about five years!" But Martha still tidied the back of her hair as she said it.

Jill sighed, were all the Nivanses flirts? She needed to assume control. "Reservations in the name of Valentine, _Colonel_ Valentine."

"Certainly Madam, your rooms are ready. If I might ask you all to sign the guest register beforehand."

"Do you have a Redfield here? Big guy, like a bear, and a Nivans, younger, cute, latte bangs and hazel eyes?" Claire was nothing if not direct.

"Ahem, the guests of _Glendorn_ like to maintain their privacy....."

"I'm that bear's sister, capiche?"

"And I'm the cute one's mother."

"And I'm their Boss!"

"Oh, well, there are always exceptions. I'm afraid the young gentlemen went into town after breakfast. To find a priest I believe."

"Thank the Lord, we're not too late."

"A Priest? What denomination?"

"Denomination? Oh, ha, ha! Very droll, I must remember that one. Priest, denomination, heh, heh. Well Ladies, I don't suppose they care. Anything that gets the job done I imagine. The last one lost _his_ head apparently, ha, ha, ha!"

"So when will they be back?"

"Oh, I don't suppose they'll come back here first. They were all dressed up ready to go. Let me see...." He opened a leather bound book. "....Ah yes, they've booked the _Maple Arbor_ , on Fuller Brook, for the day. It's a beautiful spot. A little grassy knoll, just the right amount of dappled shade, the perfect location, with their _new_ priest, ha, ha!"

"Where is it?"

"About two miles north along the stream, just over half-way. It's discretely signposted."

"Can we drive there?"

"Oh no Madam, vehicles are strictly prohibited. It's about half an hours walk...." he peered over his desk. ".....and may I suggest sensible shoes Ladies, and, um, how should we put it? Less exuberant clothing perhaps? We don't want to frighten the fauna....."

The three young ladies all gave him a hard stare.

"....then again, it is autumn. We could all use a little color."

****************************

Chris and Piers sat chatting under the shade of the Maple tree, whilst they readied their gear.

"Strange about our cells disappearing though."

"Yeh, um, 'bout those Ace, you see..." Chris explained.

"What!"

"I so wanted this to be perfect, ya know, no interruptions, of any kind, no phones, no people, just you and me. I've promised to teach you for so long and things always seem to happen. I didn't want to leave anything to chance this time. So I, um, I left them on the hall stand."

"Aww, you big softy, really?"

"Really."

"One of your better plans then." Piers leaned in for a kiss. "Oh Babe...."

"Oh Ace..."

"OH! STOP!"

"Mom?"

"Piers!"

"Claire?"

"Big Bro!"

"Jill?"

"Chris!"

"Colonel?"

"Captain!"

"Is that everyone? Ha!"

"No! Where's the Priest?"

"Who?"

"The new one!"

"To replace the one who 'lost his head'."

"We know all about it Christopher, don't try and hide him. Is he behind that tree?"

"You mean this?" Chris held up a small wooden handled club.

"What's that?"

"A priest, you use it to give the fish their last rights. The head fell off my old one yesterday."

"Oh!"

"Um..."

"Ahh. Well, what about your ring Piers?"

"Yes Piers, show us your ri....."

"Claire Dear, what did I tell you about standards!"

"Oh, oops! Sorry Aunt Martha."

"Your wedding ring son, from Roberts, the jewelers."

Piers rolled his eyes. "There was, is, no _wedding_ ring." He picked up his rod. "It was this locking ring, on Chris' old cane fly-rod. It holds the two bottom canes together. It had worn loose."

"So no Priest?"

"No!"

"And no ring?"

"No!"

"Er, so no wedding then?"

"What!? No! I was teaching Piers the art of fly-fishing. Away from work, away from all distractions....." he scowled at Claire. ".....and most of all, away from suspicious sisters!"

****************************

The three young ladies kicked back; enjoying cocktails before their two young men arrived to escort them into dinner.

"Nice to be out of that ridiculous frock"

"Ahh, and back in pants, I hate skirts!"

"And boots, my lovely comfy boots!"

"Oh, here they come!"

"I bet Chris gets a drink at the bar first, ha, ha"

"Good call! Look at the two of them, they're so happy."

"They've been through so much together, stuff that even now I can't tell you about."

"What right have we to say how they live their lives?"

"Quite simply, we got it wrong ladies."

"Yeh, and Ok, I admit it, I _am_ the suspicious type."

"Chris has a saying. If it ain't broken...."

"....don't fix it! Heh, heh, heh!"

"Of course, we can never tell them we were wrong."

"Oh no Dear, they look to us for stability, security. We can't be seen to change our minds."

"We'll just pretend to be upset, but let them get on with things the way they are."

"Unless they need a nudge...."

"....Now and then....."

"......Bound to happen!"

"Does that make us fairy godmothers?"

"Oh no! Just plain Mom please."

"Sister!"

"Oldest friend!"

The three young ladies raised their glasses in unison as Chris and Piers joined them.

"To family!"

"I'll drink to that!" Chris grinned as he raised his glass.

"You'd drink to most things Bearfield." laughed Jill.

Hazel eyes flashed. "Not on my watch!"

"Oi, _I'm_ Chris Redfield, I do what _I_ want!"

"Pfft, in your dreams Big Bro."

Martha recognized the friendly banter. She'd been around the military long enough. But she had one burning question, it was a mother's right.

"So Dear, there's definitely not going to be a wedding?"

"Nothing planned Mom, sorry to disappoint you. Chris and I are comfortable just the way things are."

"And very happy. If it ain't broken....." Chris began.

"We know.....Don't fix it!" finished Jill and Claire, both laughing.

Chris put a hand on Piers' shoulder. "We are happy, aren't we Ace?"

"Yeah, except for that business with the phones....."

"Will you ever let me forget?"

"Probably not. Which reminds me, I nearly forgot this." Piers fished inside his jacket pocket and produced a small blue velvet box.

"Ohh!" the three young ladies let out a startled gasp.

Piers opened the lid slowly. It had suddenly gone quiet at the table. There was a sense of expectation in the air."

"Christopher Redfield. Would you do me the honor of accepting this...."

"Yes, yes, say yes!!!" Three voices spoke in unison.

".....this Zippo lighter. As a token of my love and affection......and as my grateful thanks for teaching me the mysteries and art of fly fishing?"

"Damn right I will! Oh Piers, it's beautiful. Look, it's even got a brown trout on it. It's perfect!"

"Um, sorry it's not the one with the fancy button Babe."

"Pah! Who needs buttons! It's got the old trusty flint and wheel action. Does exactly what it says on the tin, like me. Thank you Piers, mwah, mwah!" Chris kissed Piers full on the lips. Kisses that were soon returned in equal measure.

The three young ladies looked on, somewhat bemused.

"So no ring either then Dear?" Martha said, a little regretfully.

"I haven't seen him so happy since the last time he had a new lighter."

"And I haven't seen him so happy since Piers took off his...."

"Standards Claire!"

"Do you think they'll be ready to eat soon?"

"Doesn't look like it. They're too busy eating each oth....."

"Claire! Perhaps we should start without them."

"They could join us for the main course...."

"....Hmm, better make it desert..."

Martha sighed. "There's always room service I suppose."

"Aunt Martha! Really, what _are_ you suggesting?"

****************************

_Brrr...Brrr, Brrr...Brrr._

"Er.....hello. Who's that?"

"Hi Finny, it's Chris! How's the Ruffster?"

"Cap'in! He's fine, but how are you and Cap'in Piers? People were looking for you both.....angry people!"

"Ha! Don't worry Finn. They found us somehow; haven't got to the bottom of that one yet. Everything's cool, don't sweat it."

"Oh, good. Miss Claire sounded mighty furious; my poor Dan was quite upset you know. He's a big softie really, that man of mine."

"Sis has that effect on most people. Ha, ha, ha! Tell him I'm sorry." Chris tried to whisper. "I gotta' be careful Finn, she's right behind me...." WACK! "Hey! We're all heading back home, about another four hours. Could you get the fire going for Piers? Oh, and something to eat would be nice if you can manage, consider yourselves invited too of course."

"Already in hand Cap'in. Now, did..are you....um....you know....what I mean is, will you be carrying Cap'in Piers over the threshold?"

"What? Oh, that, no. I don't know how all that started. Any ideas? What with your second sight and everything?"

"I think my Dan and your Miss Claire put two and two together and made five."

"Ha! That figures, never mind. Where is he?"

"Out with Ruff again. That way he doesn't have to answer the phone to any angry Colleens."

"Ha, ha, ha! Piers says 'See you both soon', and the Colleens all say Hi and Sorry to Danny!"

"Aww! See you soon then Cap'in.....Oh, did you manage to by any chance, you know? I noticed all your fishing gear had gone from the garage. But my _gift_ doesn't seem to work underwater!"

"Yes, two nice big ones for you boys. A thank you for looking after the Ruffster. They're in that cold box you gave us."

"Heh, heh, Sure, I _knew_ that gift was gonna' come in handy! Bye Cap'in."

"Bye Finny."

"Ok Big Bro, talking of fires and food tonight, where are _we_ staying?"

"Claire's right Christopher dear, I've come a long way all for no wedding . . . Piers?"

"Don't worry Mom, I rang Maurice, the mess manager on base before we left _Glendorn_. He's getting Chris' suite ready for you _and_ Claire."

"Is he still there?" asked Jill.

"Ha! He's part of the fixtures and fittings."

"I got him to prepare your rooms too Jill, so done and done."

"Still ten steps ahead Piers?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"You know son, since I'm here, I think I'll have a little holiday myself. I don't get to see you as often as I'd like."

"Great idea Mom! We can spend some quality time together if things are not too busy. Yay!"

"Ooh, nice one Aunt Martha! I think I will too......"

.....

"...Well Chris?"

"Well what?"

"Well where's _your_ enthusiastic response?"

"Er, woo-hoo?" BOP! "Oww, will you stop doing that. No wonder I'm underwhelmed."

"Argh!'

"Ha! Gotcha! That'll be lovely Sis, on one condition though."

"You're making conditions Bearfield! Ok, what?"

"Providing you sleep in the Mess. Piers and I are NOT giving up our bed this time...."

"Marital or not." added Piers for good measure.

"Son, really! Standards!"

"Yes Piers, there are ladies present.....and my sister!" Chris ducked...just in time.

 


End file.
